I have a hell of a lot of people on this email list that don't
gaf about comic books, except for Arsenic Lullaby. I've been
doing a lot of talk lately about the ins and outs of making a
comic book...and I feel like those people are just about at
their limit of staying interested in behind the scenes comic
book minutia.
BUT, this week, for once, I'm sending out this email for a
specific reason. And that is to plug being a guest at Grand
Rapids Comic-con.
SO...here' what I'm gonna do. I'll plug this show and my
discussion panel, THEN rant about a news story that has
absolutely nothing to do with comics...
AND THEN...after that will be a couple of Arsenic Lullaby comics
to read. Each may be useful to have read prior to when the new
story comes out. I'm not saying you need to know all sorts of
past Arsenic Lullaby cannon to read the new story...just that
it'll have a little different spin for you, in some cases, if
you do. The stories below fit that bill.
Anyways...onto part one-You can come see me next weekend at
Grand Rapids Comic-con.
They have me to do a discussion panel every year. I was thinking
about what to do it do this year...Some sort of how-to
seems like an obvious choice, but my guy
Perry
Gayleson has that covered (see panel info below). A talk
about publishing independently and those trials and tribulations
is defiantly something I could run my mouth about for an hour,
but publishing veteran, the very cunning
Josh
Blaylock has that covered.
So, I'm going lecture people into making sure they are putting
out work that actually is worth putting out. Think for a moment,
of all the movies, shows, comic books, you've seen/read in your
life. How many of them do you actually remember, have ever
crossed you mind even two days after you saw it? Mattered to you
at all? Hardy any. If you are a creative pro or aspiring to be
one, the goal is to make work that would get a "yes" in those
latter categories. That's what I'll be talking about.
Also...my trusty adjutant Sion can't make this show, so I could
use a helper at the booth. I'll get you in for free and give you
all sorts or merch and sketches. Contact me via email if you're
interested.
PANEL INFO
Crafting Your Artistic Arsenal:
Essential Skills for
Comic Creators - Kapow! Studios
Friday,3:15pm-4:15pm
Indie Powerhouse:
The Future of Creator
Owned Comics- Josh Blaylock
Saturday
3:45pm - 4:45pm
Understanding the
Importance of Awesome:
Making work that Connects-
Douglas Paszkiewicz
Saturday 1:15pm- 2:15pm
https://www.grcomiccon.com/programming
Hmm...did my logo and info end up looking bigger? Weird, must be
some coding glitch, sorry guys (heh).
I need to rant, because there is a "archeological find" being
covered in a way that drives me nuts. IF you are not interested
in my rebuttal of some eggheads, just skip right on down to this
weeks comics.
As GenX, during my formative years there were many space shuttle
launches. One particular launch had a teacher among the
astronauts. SO, teachers thought this was a big deal, and in
classrooms across America a TV was rolled in for us kids to all
watch it live. And...the f*cker exploded into a million fiery
shards right in front of us.
Many are the meme about how we were given no counseling or time
to process the tragedy but simply watched the TV get rolled back
out and moved right onto math class. The truth of the matter is
we needed no such consideration. BECAUSE we had been raised on a
non stop diet of fear of nuclear war. Regan was president and he
poured on the propaganda about how the Russians could start
Nuclear war, and the people on the other side of
the isle who wanted to paint him as a out of control cowboy
poured on the propaganda about how he could start
Nuclear war, and since everyone was talking about
Nuclear war. Hollywood made movies and TV shows about Nuclear
war. And there we sat in the middle, being shown and told of
horrific consequences that were one push of a button away.
WE all got to see maps like this, so we could see if our house
would be consumed by an inconceivable ball of hellfire, or if
we'd just die throwing up three days later. ...I was f*cking 6.
So, frankly, seeing a space shuttle explode seemed quaint.
"yawn...get back to s when it's Russian ICBM".
What many of us DID take away from the shuttle disaster, was
that adults were capable of being real idiots. Because,
the reason it exploded was that some o-rings blew out because
apparently a bunch of actual rocket scientists didn't understand
what every single kid who played with a G.I.Joe action figure
already knew-rubber o-rings get brittle and break when it's cold
outside.
That was the actual conversation going on at recess, days later
when they announced what the problem was.
"how does a grown up not know rubber shrinks in the cold?!"
"Beats me. What are you doing after school?"
"Probably go throw rocks at windows, narrowly escape a
pedophile, and hitch hike to a fireworks store because my
parents don't know nor care were I am or what I'm doing until
8pm when the street lights comes on. You?"
"Probably shoplift."
I digress...I tell you all that so we can keep in mind that
often the more knowledgeable you become in one specific thing,
the more of a blind spot you have for everything else.
Now think back to a blog few months ago when I used my own expert analysis of
Neanderthal cave art and the
tools and methods they would have needed to make it.
And I made the case that Neanderthals were actually smarter than
humans, and by a good measure.
Recently "experts" had that same revelation at an archeological site,
where it turns out the Neanderthals had a large scale animal carcass processing operation. Over 170 carcasses and 2000
processed bones having been discovered so far..
Here's a link to a story with the high points...
Here's a link to the actual in depth scientific analysis of the
site. Sediment samples, heat signatures, presumed average
temperature and weather in that area at that point, bone
analysis, ect, ect ect.
https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.adv1257
The overall point being -
They were heating/boiling animal bones to extract fat/grease. In
large quantities.
Much like when I went on about the cave paintings, archeologists
missed the obvious because they were too busy creating fairy
tales for themselves. The EVIDENCE...is
they were heating/boiling animal bones and extracting
fat/grease. That is IT. That is the evidence. Please, stay with
me on that, it's important. That is what they found, and all
that they found. Everything else ranges from speculation to
fairy tales.
The take away for these guys was how fat has specific dietary
properties and the Neanderthals, who survived previously without
such an operation, must have somehow known this...and went
through all this trouble for that reason.
That quote, and quotes like that drive me insane.
Everyone...stop and realize, that is something HE MADE UP. He
MADE THAT UP.
He looked at what was in front of him and used his imagination
and fabricated a story. And said it as though it was fact. That
doesn't even qualify as an educated hypothesis because,
he has no evidence AT ALL that they had such a grasp on
nutrition. AT ALL.
(and he's missing what is right in front of his face, but I'll
get to that in a second)
Does he have analysis of the bones of generations of this tribe,
showing a previous deficiency and a correction of that after
this processing started going on? NO. and even if he did, that
ain't evidence of that being WHY they started doing this. Only
evidence of an outcome that may or may not have even been
understood by these Neanderthals in any way shape or form.
Asshole.
Sure...it's possible that's why they decided to boil up animal
fat in quantities far larger than they could hope to consume,
for dietary reasons that they somehow magically understood,
despite
showing no such grasp on the matter in anything else they left
behind. I'll be kind and say- I think that's a real stretch.
So,
let's take a step back and see a more obvious reason for doing
all this, that a people who don't even have a written language
could come up with...
What, at that time, was the most important technology they
had? I'll give you a hint, they needed it to boil this animal
fat...FIRE.
and what do you need for fire? Fuel. and what is really good
fuel for fire? animal fat/grease.
SO, what makes more sense...that they, with a limited population
as a sample size, and no written language with which to record
anything, cracked the code of optimal nutritional
sustenance...OR that they noticed that the grease from the meat
they cooked burns real good, and would work real well on their
torches?
That's what they were using it for, you numbskulls. And that's
why they were making SO MUCH of it. What completely got past
them as they were pontificating on Neanderthals breaking down
the needed ratio of carbs vs protein, is that they clearly had
more than they needed for themselves. SO, what might ACTUALLY
have been found here...is the beginnings of a trading system.
Fat for spears or pelts, or whatever else some other tribe had
in abundance that they did not.
You have a tribe creating way more of something than they need.
There are two possibilities.
1- they starred at it and wondered why they wasted so much of
their time, OR 2-they passed it along to other tribes.
I draw f*cking comic books, and it took me 2 seconds to
understand what they were doing with all that animal grease.
They were creating a surplus of a product in order to trade for
products they did not have. THAT is the real headline, you
screwballs.
That notion that such an obvious explanation got right past
them is easy to understand when you see this quote-
MAYBE they had containers? What the F8ck other possibility is
there?! They carried grease around in their hands?
...they "might have had some sort of food storage". He's
convinced they understood the difference between carbs and
protein but not will to commit to them having containers...HOW
THE F*CK DO YOU THINK THEY GOT THE WATER THERE TO BOIL THE
BONES? A LINE OF THEM GOT A MOUTHFULS FROM THE LAKE AND SPIT IT
INTO THE ROCK PIT?!
Like...make
up your minds, scientists, were they smart or stupid? They knew the
difference between types of calories or they didn't know how to
make a container?!
I've said it before, the more you specialize in some branch of
science, the more tunnel vision you have. It's just how the
brain works. They know a whole lot about XYZ, but ( much like in
them not understanding the amount of cooperation needed for the
cave paintings) they don't know how anything is made.
Actually, in this case, they don't even understand XYZ. because
they are talking about nutrients and daily calorie consumption,
and not understanding the amount of time, and manual labor (i.e.
calories used) it would have taken to create this processing
operation, and drag all the animal carcasses to it. A horse is
not a light animal. Imagine how hungry you'd be after you and
two buddies spent a morning dragging horses several miles.
Just out of curiosity, I did rudimentary research. a horse in
that area, at that time period weighted an estimated 1500-2000
pounds.
They could have very easily just taken the
few bones and the meat they needed for themselves instead of dragging
the entire 1500pound
animal from wherever TF they speared it, all the way to the
pit.
Aside from that, and still on the point of them not knowing how
anything works, creating and operating this "processing
plant" is a colossal undertaking. It requires everyone to be on
board. Animals have to be dragged long distances, butchered,
bones separated and broken, the fire needs to be maintained,
grease collected, refuse removed. That's how many people
spending all their time on that? A lot...which means everyone else has
to pick up the slack on whatever tasks they'd normally be doing.
Plus the planning. The goal would need to be clear and of
obvious benefit to everyone.
This hair brained idea of them doing it because they determined
somehow that the animal fat was better for their diet, long term...How,
pray tell, is that communicated, in what was most certainly at
that point a very crude verbal language, in a way that has
everyone doing all this extra work, hmm?
So..no...that wasn't why they were doing this.
This kinda stuff maddens me. Mostly because of the waste of time
that could be spent actually going in a reasonable direction.
The super analytical article goes into all sort of analysis of
the bones, how hot they got, sedimentary analysis around the
fire pits, ect. How about...you take the spears and tools and
analyze those and see if they came from the same area OR from
somewhere else? Because that THAT could be evidence that they
were trading animal grease for tools.
You go "oh this chisel is made out of shale that's from a quarry
50 miles away" then you go to archeological sites in that area
and see if you can find evidence of their torches having animal
fat on them. Then you have evidence that directly points to the
earliest account of trading. I've oversimplified, but you get
the idea.
I wonder how hard if would be to get the contact info of these
people, and explain it to them. Better yet, the contact info of
their rival archeologists. Who might be interested in something
they could turn into a paper that made their rivals look like
dopes.
Better still...how do I go about getting a nobel prize? Because
I seem to be the only who noticed that we might be looking at
the first example of trade between populations in human history.
ANYWAYS...
Here's some comics, and I'll see you in Michigan...
From Arsenic Lullaby Pulp Edition no.0
