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Got back from New Jersey on Monday.  The “chiller” horror show couldn’t have been much worse.  I don’t know if there is something in the water or the nuke plants are affecting the sperm out there or what, but that was by far the most mouth breathing, retard intensive crowd I’ve ever seen.  Had I done this show five or six years ago it might have been enough to get me to quit altogether out of self-doubt.  The Phrase repeated to me most often at this show was “I don’t get it”.  It became a running joke in my own head


Step one hand book to passer by.


Step two OPEN BOOK for passer by


Step three EXPLAIN to passer by to READ.


Step four EXPLAIN joke to passer by


Step five see how long passer by stares blankly at the page before handing book back confused as to what reaction they are supposed to have.



And I wasn’t showing them complicated pages filled with juxtaposition and satire…the doll is a still born baby…the girl is crying…it’s funny.

Brother…these folks where all kinds of dumb and poor.  Which was sort of reassuring because when I get a “I don’t get it” from someone with a 300.oo watch on it really makes me want to get on board with the whole communism idea.  Cause if there was any justice there is no way a guy who takes five minutes to read a comic book page with four word balloons on it should have managed to buy a 300.00 watch. 

So, anyway that show sucked, but I was with the Angry Drunk Graphics guys so it was fun anyway.

Two notable things did come of the show.


1-     I met my new intern and it looks like I really got a good one this year.  By the way that position is now filled so please stop e-mailing me.  And for those of you who tried to bribe me with booze…while I commend the “by any means necessary” style of gaining a position, your bribe was trumped by a bride of knowledge and ability.


2-     Sheryl Fenn was at the show.  She’s from Twin Peaks.  And when I was a teenager I really had a thing for her.  Not as bad as I have now for Fiona apple, but close.  I went to the signing area to get a glimpse.  The area was packed, no way to just leer at her from a safe distance so I had to go from table to table looking.  Each table had a washed up, dried out actress or former playmate, and as I’d look at the beef jerky in bleach blonde hair I’d think “please don’t be her please don’t be her please don’t be her”  after about ten tables I resigned myself to the fact that when I did see her, she would be at best a wrinkled shadow of her former self, unrecognizable to what remains of my teenage libido. 

  I never really give a rats ass about anyone in the signing section so it’s usually pretty entertaining seeing how used up they all are.  but this one was going to sting, and maybe even make me start to dwell on my own mortality and the effects of age that are waiting for me. 

And it made me a little sad knowing what she would look like, and knowing that she is now signing autographs in New Jersey to make a buck.  She was a decent actress and was good on the show and really…just a bit ahead of her time. Her look was very gothish, the problem was that that show ended in like 1990 and people were fawning over a much different image of womanhood.  She really deserved to be a lot bigger, and her ending up here, looking like she’s gonna look…well…it’s not fair.


eventually I found her…

she was still hot!  Older, a little floppy by the elbows but still hot.  She still had eyes that could stop a charging bull and a smile that could get you to do anything she said.  AND she was bright and charming. All the reasons I liked her were still there. Plus she seemed to be enjoying herself, she wasn’t broke and carrying the 12 dollar wheeled suitcase of shame with her like the rest of them, she didn;t look like she spent 12 hours in a tanning bed, or had three face lifts and didn't act like the wolrd owed her anything because she was famous for a year two decades ago. she was naturally attractive, having a good time, and comfortable in her own skin…then I looked to her left.  She had a daughter!  Her daughter was like 21-22 and also very attractive.  And I thought to myself  “what do I need with this old bag?  There’s a smoking hot 21 year old version of her right there who I’m more famous than and won’t make cracking sounds when she gets out of bed.”




I am an ass.


 Onto other things…I’ve been wearing my Vietnam era jacket a lot because my leather biker jacket has a hole in every pocket and frankly I’m worried that it is out of style.  You don’t see any young people wearing them anymore, in fact the only people I see still wearing them are 55 year old bikers with foot long white/yellow beards who assemble porta potties at the state fair, and guys who still listen to def leopard. these two traits are not mutually exclusive.


There is a lot of personal history in that jacket though.  hell, I even bought it from a genuine coke head for ten dollars.  But…I’m sure a lot of crusty hippies have great stories about there tie dyed ponchos…there comes a time when you need to put things away.


I asked someone about it and was advised against wearing it.  I was all set to put it in the attic when I realized…this person gives HORRIBLE advice.  It’s ALWAYS WRONG…ALWAYS.  And she lives in Australia…not exactly the fashion capitol of the world, it’s quite possible that if I had a bunch of shark teeth stitched across the shoulders I might have gotten a completely different answer. 

I started thinking too about the prevalent fads in Australia among the young hipsters out there and noticed that they all LOVE tank girl.  LOVE IT.  I didn’t really know why, it’s a good comic book and maybe it’s just one of the few indy books that they can get out there was all I could come up with.  I know the illustrator is from England but maybe he has some connection to Australia?  Then Kempo, befuddled that I needed this explained to me, pointed out that Tank Girl is set in Australia.  So…duh.  They like it because it’s about Australia.




that’s sad.  I mean, they are still hanging onto this twenty year old comic book and it’s look because it set in their country!?  That would be like people in Milwaukee still wearing leather jackets because fonzie worn one in “happy days” and that was set in Milwaukee.










That’s not why I wear it…not directly.  But you grow up thinking things are cool because you associate them with people you looked up to, so what if the people I looked up to wore it because of fonzie?  It’s possible; this city has a bit of an inferiority complex because it's an ordinary city next to a legendary city like Chicago that has so many famous people and trends that sprung from it.  Milwaukee does tend to glom onto anything in the pop culture that mentions them.  I really hope that’s not the case.  I mean it’s just as possible that it is the other way around...that Fonzie wore one because they were big in Milwaukee ( home of Harley Davison) and needed to look regional.


In any case…I still don’t know, is it time to put this thing away?

 comments? concerns?



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