A WORD FROM OUR FOUNDER

yes we're making a cartoon BUT... 

I appreciate that everyone is excited...i do, but i want you all to be clear...that this cartoon doesn't have a home yet.  we are making a pilot...when it's done i'll get out my roledex and get out all the numbers of producers, network excecs, ect that have shown interest and we'll pitch the pilot...if it doesn't get picked up (that's possible i mean...how can you compete with tom goes to the govenor?) but we think it's good, then well just go from indy publisher to indy dvd maker and distribute it to stores on our own...i've already had pre emptive discussions and have distributors ready willing and able, if no basic cable network has the balls to run it.

This could be great or it could suck...we don't know and we probably wont until it's done and we watch it and either say..."holy fuck that's funny" or "yeash, take my name off this."

Having said that i will now address a question i can't seem to get away from 

"hey can i be a voice in your cartoon?"

FIRST...we promote from within around here.  Over the past ten years we've had people pitch in and help out and step up to the plate on little things and big thinsg and those are the people we're using.

i don't care if you have 8 years of schooling in animation, or you are a locksmith...all that matters is could i count on you with the little things? I'll take an enthusiastic locksmith over a johnny come lately animator in a heartbeat. I made up my mind and it's set in stone that at least this first pilot will be done by myself and a few specific people based on talent and reliability instead of farming it out to a animation house.  why?  i want it done right...at least the first time before it gets picked up and watered down i want it done right.  and if that means using people willing to learn instead of ten year pros...if that means i have to draw every fucking cell myself...then that's what it means. Voodoo Joe is going to look and act like sound like Voodoo joe, and so are the aliens, the donut, and whoever else we can fit in by June.

The other reason i'm using my own people is that I have to have the final word...that seems like it should be obvious but the problem i see over and over again and the problem i was running into pitching the cartoon based on scripts alone was that everyone wanted to put their two cents in until you got to the point where people who have never told joke no.1 outside of their cubical where being allowed to influence the script of MY FUCKING CARTOON.

 I'll give you a brief look into the world of pitching an idea/script to a network/producer/agent...it's a sad sick dance of non-entertainers wanting to suck up and ingratiate themselves by putting their two cents in and expecting you to stroke them off about how their idea really adds to the concept.  it's like if you were a boxer and every drip wants to come up and show you his jab -a noodle armed techniqueless flailing with the elbow twisting towards your own body "and expecting you to say "hey that's great" actually it would only be the same thing if the expected you to jab the same way in the ring. too many cooks spoil the meal especially when the are editors and not cooks. 

Plus if you aren't used to me i can seem like a real prick. just remember this "if your very life depended on making something funny would YOU handle it or would you have ME do it for you?"...right...you'd have me do it and stay above ground.

SECOND...we don't even know where this is going to go yet...so everybody just take it easy a second.  good things might happen or they might not.  all we are concerning ourselves with is FUNNY.

Now, if you have helped Arsenic Lullaby out in the past ( i think you all know who you are)...it will basically be up to you as to how much you want to take on and how involved you want to be.  and if you don't want any part of this fiasco that's fine too.  

we'll need quite a bit of help in lots of facets and it may seem like a clusterfuck at first but keep in mind...we managed to keep arsenic lullaby around for a decade...a fact that still makes me laugh.   TEN plus years of Arsenic Lullaby and it only stopped because i was sick of it.  no schooling, no budget, and no help and we outlasted everybody else... feh...losers.  hey remember "sirius entertainment"?  "kitchen sink press"?  "sundragon comics"?  i could rattle off a dozen publishers who turned down arsenic lullaby who are on the trash heap of publishing history.  i could name twice as many indy comics that got all sorts of press and thought they were gonna set the world on fire...only to crash and burn after 6 months.  HA!  shmucks...slow and steady wins the race.  all we worried about was quality and that's why we lasted and no one knows who the hell i'm talking about when i bring up thier names.  okay enough gloating...even though it's fun it's low character.

okay to recap...if you helped with the book you are welcome to help with the cartoon,  although...there are plenty of reasons why you might not want to.  AND we think it's real funny that Arsenic Lullaby has gotten this far to begin with.   real funny.  i actually think the funniest thing about arsenic lullaby is that it beat so many other books. i mean...look at the cast of characters...you can't even describe any of them without sounding like a lunatic...and yet here we are 600 plus pages, hundreds of thousands of copies, translated into two languages...it's really absurd isn't it? 

anywhoo...i've got work to do see you  later.

comments? concerns?

douglaspasz@gmail.com

myspace.com/douglasarseniclullaby

www.arseniclullabies.com