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Douglas Paszkiewicz is an nationally (Eisner Award and Harvey Award) and internationally (comic-dom Award) award nominated writer for his own books and numerous national and international magazines. Here are his thoughts this week.


Happy Birthday tooo me! ..

Hey, it's my something.

Normally I would go one and on about how darkly, delightfully despicable Arsenic Lullaby is and if you claim to have a dark sense of humor than you haven't lived until you have read an issue of A.L. Then i would back it up with a List of Award nominations, quotes from famous people, samples of my work that make even the most jaded skeptic go "holy fu...that is FUUNY...and very very wrong". But it's MY birthday and i feel like taking a day off with the self how about this-

Go buy something at our store (the link is on the home page ...i don't know how to attach it here without my editors help and i sure as fuck don't want to see him on my birthday).

If you go to the store TODAY and enter in the coupon code " birthday " you get 5.00 OFF. FIVE BUCKS! I have been pretty good about keeping the prices down over the years so five bucks off something at our store actually means something, it doesn't mean we jacked the prices up on shipping.

Now..much to my displeasure, you can't see EVERYTHING at the store unless you click "see all items". why is this? I don't know, i also don't know why we can't invent a scanner that actually picks up all the details i draw or for that matter why half of the details disappear between scanning and whatever the hell the printer does with the files ...which is why our SKETCHCARDS are worth getting. you, for a modest investment of 20.00, can have in your hand a sketchcard illustrated by ME, with my own windsor newton no.0 brush, with a tip smaller than a needle...and be amazed at the amount of detail that my own hands, more skilled than any surgeon, am able to lay down with ink. Ink lines thinner than needles next to ink lines thinner than needles with equal amount of clearance between them yet NEVER QUITE TOUCHING EACH OTHER...fucking amazing. And yet, I am not filthy rich. there is no justice in this world. you wanna protest something, protest the fact that there are brain surgeons that are stump handed retards next to my unequalled manual dexterity that make more than me. Sure they save lives...but for what? i think if you asked their patience if they wanted to live in a world without my books they would say "NO!" So when you look at it the surgeons are only in business because people want to live to enjoy my comics.

Perhaps even their own rattled nerves and stress from mounting med school loans are only relieved by reading Arsenic Lullaby, who knows? but if this is the case...then a grave injustice is indeed a foot when simpletons like surgeons make more money than me. INJUSTICE I SAY!...Yet were are the rallies for me? Where are the smelly liberal arts students and old hippies protesting on MY behalf? I am a man without a country. I applaud and even fear the 1% and yet get no aid from them ...I entertain a large percentage of the OWS and yet they clog up no streets on my behalf.

...what was my point?


I can't remember, that's old age for you. It probably had something to do with money because i'm pretty sure i may have to flee the U.S. soon(listen to the last podcast for my run in with an anti terrorism task i don't have the cash to go anywhere nice. The best i could do at this point is Australia and all the women there have VD and bad teeth...or is that's on of those countries that are a century behind how to actually speak english. They still spell "color" "colour" HEY maybe if you didn't waste all that time writing extra letters you might have been able to invent the light bulb, this ain' t a shakespearian play jackass they more fancy you talk the less time you have to get shit done. Look at illegal immigrants, they can barely speak spanish and they can pick a whole field of lettuce in one afternoon. More words= less lettuce. And lettuce is a euphemism for cash so go to the store and buy something (see you though i had completely trailed off there didn't you, but i brought i all back around to buying my stuff). The prices are low now but i'm gonna jack them up during the x-mass season heh heh. ho ho ho mutha fuckas.

Oh yeah and Arsenic Lullaby Collectors coins are available at more info on those here.



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